League of Dating
by WingsofRequiem
Summary: A few friends decide to force each other into blind dates with champions from the league of legends! Randomness, sillyness and hilarious antics ensue! Expect the unexpected, but bet you'd never expect how the dates turn out! Rated T for swearing, crude humor, innuendos and perverted jokes, randomness, kink and mild violence. Some characters might be intentionally OOC.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey there guys!  
Its me again, Wings!**

**So one day, I felt the need to write a funny comedy one-shot fic about some OCs having awkward dates with champions from the league of legends! And thus, this story was born. Sadly, it's a real brain teaser to think of stuff to happen for each champion, and as a result, it'd take far too long to complete this and the end result story would also be very long. So I decided to break it up into chapters!**

**I won't be updating this as much, it's more of a side-work break for me from my other fics.**

**Expect a lot of randomness, crude humor and silliness**

**Enjoy**

**- Wings Senpai.**

* * *

**League of Dating**

Summoner Caelum nervously sat on the table-for-two as he looked around at the empty room, wondering what this was all about again. Basically, some genius had the idea of making a Blind-dating event and setting up random Champions to have a dinner date with him to celebrate his 19th birthday. His eye twitched a bit as he waited, nervous and a bit impatient, fidgeting in his seat, glancing at the single door leading into the room. The room itself was large and dark, the only lights coming from the candles on the table. He stuffed his right hand into his pocket, retrieving the folded paper listing all the champions he would be dating. Opening it up, he read the first name.

**Ahri**

Summoner Caelum stared across the table at Ahri, his eyes twitching as he tried to keep his focus on her glowing yellow eyes that seemed to bore into him. She was leaning forward upon the table, her elbows on the table and her head resting on her hands, looking at him with an amused smile on her face.

_Don'tlookDon'tlookDon'tlookDon'tlookDon'tlo-_

He glanced down for a split second at her glorious cleavage, praised be the gods for he had looked upon the holy grand canyon of her boso-  
Goddammit.

"My eyes are up here, Summoner." Ahri said with a small giggle, enjoying how she was teasing him. He blushed, raising his right hand up and scratching the back of his head, ruffling his black hair up more as he looked at a random spot on the wall to his right. "Yeah… I.. Uh… Yeah…"

"So…" He muttered, deciding to break the ice. "Tell me about yourself."  
"I like to fuck." She replied simply as it took Summoner Caelum a few minutes to register what she said. He stared at her, blushing even more as he sputtered, "W-What!?"  
"I like to have sex. In every which way, whether it's simple plain ol' sex or maybe some kinky fuckery. Oh, this one time, this one summoner de-"  
"Uh really, You don't have to say anything. Please stop, oh god I'm nosebleeding, holy teemo's tits, stop please." Caelum was desperately trying to stop Ahri while trying to drown out her words as she was caught in a reverie. Even though he managed to block out most of the sound, he heard words like 'covered in chocolate' and 'spiky tongue'.

"Uh. Ahri?" He managed to break her out as Ahri looked at him curiously. "Really not the most appropriate of topics for the dinner table." He said as Ahri rolled her eyes. "Pfft, don't be a bore, Cael."

At that moment, his friends, Summoner Jason and Summoner Ellie opened the door and walked in, carrying tonight's dinner. Well, not really the dinner. Just the appetizer. Compared to Caelum's rebellious mid-long black hair, Jason had short spiky blonde hair while Ellie had long pale golden hair. His electric blue eyes were also a stark contrast to Ellie's emerald green, but similar to Jason's inquisitive blue shade.

"Tonight's appetizer. Fruits!" Jason said cheerfully, his blue eyes sparkling mischievously behind his blond hair as he looked at Caelum, who was death-glaring at both of them for arranging this whole ordeal. Well, mainly at Ellie, since it was her idea.  
"Enjoy!" Ellie said in her cutesy high pitched voice as they both ran off after setting the platters onto the table. Like they said, various fruits were decorated upon the plates.

Caelum found this to be a bit of a relief, as they could now focus on the food and engage in some small talk. As he picked up his fork and used it to spear a cube of water melon, he glanced at Ahri as he was about to put it into his mouth.

She had a banana in her hand and she was looking at him with desire igniting behind her golden eyes. She slowly peeled it, revealing the long white pulp of the fruit and slowly brought it closer to her mouth, never breaking eye contact with him. Caelum stayed frozen, unable to move or speak as he watched her, his forked cube of watermelon hanging inside his open mouth.

Ahri slowly pecked the top of the banana, making a small sound as she did that made Caelum swallow hard. His eyes went even wider when she licked it up its length before putting it into her mouth…. And continuing to put it into her mouth until she literally had almost half of the banana in her mouth and throat.

_**Thump**_

"Oh dear." Ahri said as she finished swallowing her massive bite of banana. "Hey, Summoner Caelum… Are you alright? Oh… it appears as though he fainted. Ah well, more food for me." She said happily as Caelum lied with his face on the table, a fork sticking out his mouth, his face completely red.

…

**Akali**

Summoner Caelum was hoping this would go better. Akali seemed more courteous than Ahri, and lacked the whole sex-crazed thing. As they sat there, staring at each other awkwardly, Caelum decided to try and break the ice again.  
"So… How are you?"  
"I'm fine." Akali said simply, her voice betraying nothing as if it was just another statement instead of an answer. Caelum faltered at her monotone-ness. "Uh… Er… So… How's the weather?"  
"It's fine." She replied, again, completely emotionlessly.

"Are you always so… curt?" He asked, raising an eyebrow as he swear he could feel one of those anime-style sweat-drops running down the side of his head.  
"I'm a ninja." She replied.  
"Yes… I, uh, know that… I've summoned you before."  
"Yes. I know." She replied again as Caelum was unable to think of what else to say with such a boring dinner partner. Luckily, the doors opened again as his two friends waltzed in.  
"Dinner is hereeee~" Ellie said cheerfully as Jason beamed at Akali, who glanced at him. "Hey Akali, how are ya doing?"  
"I'm fine." She said, hesitating a bit as Jason grinned knowingly. Caelum glanced skeptically at him as Jason met his gaze. "Careful on this one, bro, or you might just find Zed pinning you up on his hitlist." Jason said, with a wink as a light tinge of pink coated Akali's cheeks.  
Caelum blanched, gulping as he muttered, "Uh… I think… I'll… Have dinner with the next date." He said, hoping he didn't offend Akali.  
"Ofcourse." She replied simply.

…

**Ashe**

"Wait, aren't you married to Tryndamere?" Caelum asked as Ashe raised her eyes off the empty plate below her.  
"Yes? What of it?" Ashe asked, frowning slightly.  
"Uh… Isn't this… sort of… cheating?" Caelum asked as Ashe rolled her eyes.  
"Pssh, our marriage is only political." She said, waving it off. "Besides, just because I've already ordered doesn't mean I can't browse the menu." She said slyly as Caelum gulped, feeling a bit hot under the collar as her icy blue eyes bore into him.

The doors slammed open as Jason and Ellie stood there with the trays of food.  
"DINNER'S HERE~!" Ellie said loudly in a sing-song voice, and just as Jason was about to say something, they both got shoved aside by a very angry Tryndamere.

"Ouch, I hurt my butt!" Ellie whined as she sat on the ground, while Jason looked at their trays of food strewn all about the floor. "Oh shit." He then noticed Tryndamere. "OH SHIT."

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING WITH MY WIFE!?" Tryndamere shouted in rage as Caelum backed up against the wall on the other side of the room.  
"DON'T KILL ME IT WAS HIS IDEA HE MATCHED ME UP." Summoner Caelum shouted as he pointed at Jason… Or, where Jason was. Everyone glanced at the direction and saw that in the place of Jason was a cardboard cutout of Jason.

"How does he do that!?" Ellie said with amazement in her voice as Tryndamere glared back at Caelum. Caelum could only whimper.

…

**Caitlyn**

"So… Caitlyn. What do you do for a living?" Caelum asked, nursing his jaw absent mindedly as Caitlyn sipped on her cup of tea.

"Oh, don't play dumb with me, Summoner. Everyone knows I'm the Sheriff of Piltover." She said as Caelum nodded. "How's it been?" He asked as Caitlyn beamed at him.

"It's been wonderful. Under my watch, no criminal dares to commit a crime. And when they do, they usually get caught and locked." She said as the doors opened.  
"WE BROUGHT CRUMPETS!" Ellie said happily as Jason grinned behind her.  
"Jason, we're gonna have a looooong talk after this is over." Caelum said darkly as Jason grinned at his friend. "Why, Cael dearest, what ever could you mean?" Jason said as Ellie and him put down the two plates of crumpets and biscuits.

"Nothing like a good Crumpet to go with a good tea." Caitlyn said as Ellie giggled. "Say, Caitlyn, I hear you've got a thing going on with Vi." Jason said casually as Caelum glanced at Caitlyn. He had to respect her for keeping her cool as she calmly sipped her tea and answered. "Yes, this is simply a little fun I'm having and Vi doesn't mind."

"I hear you had something very special going on…. Involving… Well, Fuzzy cuffs." Jason said as Caitlyn sputtered, spewing scalding hot tea all over Caelum.

Caelum was silent for a moment or two as everyone stared at him. Then…

"FUUUUUUUUUU-"

…

**Cassiopeia**

Caelum was in a very, very bad mood right now, but he wasn't mad at the ladies of the league he was being matched up with. So he tried to be as polite as possible.  
"So, Uh… Cassiopei-"  
"Call me Cassssssss." She said in that snaky voice of hers that tended to draw out the S's.

"Right… Cass. Uh, what are your hobbies?" He asked.  
"Well, I have a very big interessssst in artsssss and craftsssss." Cassiopeia said as Summoner Caelum felt relief.  
"Wow, that's pretty cool." _And very normal._ He noted mentally.  
Cassiopeia smiled and nodded, just as the doors opened.  
"We brough-" Jason was saying but Ellie butted in; "COOKIES!" She squealed. Cassiopeia beamed as she said, "I love cookiesssssss!"  
"Me too." Summoner Caelum said, staring daggers at Jason's innocently grinning face. "There better not be anything to mess this up." He muttered as Jason came close.  
"Whatever could you be hinting at?" Jason said. This was getting very annoying as Summoner Caelum frowned darkly at his friend, promising vengeance of the darkest kind.  
"Issssss anything wrong, Sssssummoner?" Cassiopeia asked as Summoner Caelum blinked, his face becoming normal again as he said, "Uh, no, nothing's wrong." He offered a smile as Cassiopeia offered one back.  
"So… Your hobby. You were saying?" He asked as he bit into a cookie, Jason and Ellie leaving the room.  
"Oh yessss. I love making thingsssss." She said as Caelum raised an eyebrow. "Things such as?"  
"Poisons, Venoms, acids. The like. Things that melt your flesh from the inside out." Cassiopeia said with sparkles in her eyes. She was very enthusiastic about it. But the part about melting flesh made Caelum pause in his eating. "Uh… Right…" He muttered, suddenly feeling a bit queasy.  
"Yes yes, and the best thing is, I get it from my own body!" She said as Caelum's eye twitched.  
"Your own… Body…?" He asked as Cassiopeia nodded.  
"My fangs, My saliva, even my sweat contains toxins that, when concentrated…." Caelum tuned her out as he tried to absorb what she was saying. Every. Liquid. In. Her. Body.

"I don't think this is going to work. Excuse me." Caelum said as he stood up abruptly and almost ran from the room, slamming the doors open, sending Jason and Ellie (who were planted against the door) flying.  
"OW MY TUSHIE." Ellie whined as Jason scrambled up, watching Caelum run. "GET HIM!" He shouted as both of them began running towards Caelum in an effort to catch him. Cassiopeia blinked at the open door, made sure no one was looking, then began to devour the cookies 5 at a time.

…

**Diana**

Caelum groaned, his long dark bangs messed up as he sat at his chair. Jason had just finished binding him to the chair with a rope while he was screaming bloody murder at his friend. Ellie had helped as well, with an evil glint in her otherwise innocent green eyes.

And now the door opened and in walked the Last of the Lunari herself, Diana. Caelum had to stop himself from sharing; it was no secret to his friends that he harbored a crush on the maiden of the moon.

As Diana took her seat, she gave him a skeptical once over. "Am I missing something here?" She asked as Summoner Caelum flustered. "Uh… Blame Summoner Jason. He's got this fetish for ropes."  
"Who doesn't?" Diana said with one of those small, sly smiles of hers.

Caelum could swear there was a steady stream of blood falling from his nose as he swallowed hard. "Uh… Right…"

"So, what is it we do tonight, Summoner?" Diana asked as Caelum fumbled over his words. "uh.. This is sort of… a blind date thing."

"Oooh. Will I wear a blindfold, then?" Diana asked with another smirk as an eruption of blood issued from Caelum's nose.  
"Uh… N-No… We're supposed t-to get to k-know each other… and e-eat." He muttered as Diana frowned.  
"Tch. That sounds boring." She said, standing up as Caelum looked at her in surprise. Was she leaving? "Lets do something more fun." She said, suddenly shoving the table aside as Caelum watched it with wide eyes, before returning his gaze to her. He was painfully aware of how he was bound to the chair as he squirmed uncomfortably.

"Since you're already tied up… that saves a lot of time." Diana whispered as she took a few steps forward then sat herself down on Caelum's lap, leaning in close to his face, which Caelum could swear was redder than a tomato.

"I… I…" Caelum muttered as Diana shushed him with a finger onto his lips. "No words. Only actions." She said.

"DINNER IS HEE-KYAAAA!" Ellie burst in, her voice changing from cheerful to shocked as she saw Diana sitting on top of Caelum, kissing him deeply. "RAAPE! RAAAAAAPE!" Ellie screamed as Jason ran in with a fire extinguisher. Caelum glanced at them and his eyes widened, moaning into Diana's mouth loudly to try to tell them to not do anything. But his moaning only made it look like he was struggling. "Oh fuck, HOLD ON BRO, I'M COMING!" Jason shouted as he ran towards them.

Finally, Diana broke the kiss, turning to look towards the door. "Who's shouting so mu-"

_**CLUNK**_

"Dude…" Summoner Caelum said as he panted, glancing at Diana's unconscious form to Jason. "I. Was. Not. Getting. RAPED. GODDAMMIT JASON." He screamed, struggling against his bonds as Jason gaped at him and Diana. "Oh… Fuck." Jason muttered as Caelum screamed curses at him.

"WHEN I GET OUT OF THESE BINDINGS I WILL PERSONALLY SHOVE AN EXTRA LARGE, EXTRA SPICY TACO UP YOUR ASS!" Caelum shouted as Diana slowly stirred.

"You… Dare…. YOU WILL PAY!" Diana shouted in rage, a big bruise on her head as she summoned her sword. Caelum yelped in surprise as he tried scrambling back, away from inbetween Diana and Jason…. Or, where Jason was moments ago.

In his stead, was a cardboard cutout of Jason.  
"HOW DOES HE KEEP DOING THAT!?" Caelum shouted in disbelief as Diana stalked out of the room in rage. "W-WAIT, DIANA! COME BACKKKK." Caelum shouted but his cries went unheard as he lowered his head in despair.

"So… You weren't getting raped?" Ellie asked as Caelum looked at her. "No… I was enjoying it."  
"Oops."  
"Damn right. Now untie me."

Ellie untied Caelum from the bindings as Caelum stood up to his full height. He was taller than Jason, and a lot taller than Ellie as he stared down menacingly at Ellie.  
"So… Ellie… Let's have some fun." Caelum said in a sinister tone as Ellie began regretting freeing him. With a cry, she began running but Caelum grabbed her around the waist and scooped her up over his shoulder, walking off as Ellie cried for help, bumping her fists into his back to no avail.  
"Lets treat you to some of your own medication, Eh?" Caelum said menacingly as they walked off.

* * *

**Please do leave behind a review on how you liked or hated this fic and feel free to offer ideas or improvements!**

**Summoner Jason, Summoner Ellie and Summoner Caelum are my own creations and should not be used without my permission, kthnxbai.**

**- Wings Senpai**


	2. Chapter 2

**This one's for the ladies who want to know how it's like to date some of the guy league champs, starring Summoner Ellie! xD  
Like I said before, the chapters for this one is gonna be short and irregular, but no doubt I'll do my best to fill this up with crazy randomness of funny xD**

**Rainbow Monkies and all the stuff related to it belong to Codename KND and their creators.  
Theres alot of abbreviated word usage in this story as well, which I wrote in the way they're spelled. GTFO and FML are the ones in this, if I remember correctly.**

**Also, I've made a facebook page for myself! It's on my fanfiction profile, so you can contact me easily there if you want to xD  
Anyways, Enjoy.**

**- Wings Senpai**

* * *

**League of Dating**

Summoner Ellie was sniffling by the time Caelum finished tying her against the chair. She had ropes around her midriff tying her to the chair so she could move her arms and legs comfortably but couldn't escape.

"You're doing a very mean thing, Cael!" Ellie said angrily again, pouting. Caelum rolled his eyes, clapping his hands together a couple of times as he appreciated his handicraft. "Well you're a fancy thing, a crow calling the raven black." Caelum chuckled as he walked out. "Enjoy the dates!"

"Wait, dates?! WHAT!?" Ellie thought as Caelum walked out. "I'M TOO YOUNG DAMMIT DON'T PAIR ME UP WITH GUYS!"  
"You're 17!" Caelum called back as he walked away while Ellie struggled against her bonds. "HOW IS THAT ANY BETTER!?" She shouted back, but no answer was given. Sighing, she went slack and gave up. Guess she had to go through this. Since they had forced Caelum to go alphabetically… She would be facing…

"Oh no."

**Aatrox**

"But you're not even human!" Ellie whined as Aatrox stared impassively at her. Ellie blanched, blinking once before sinking way back into her chair. He scared her, with that demonic visage of his and his red eyes.  
"I'm a Darkin. A god." Aatrox said haughtily as Ellie nodded quickly. An awkward silence passed inbetween them until it was broken by -  
"Heres the food!" Caelum said, walking in with a tray. Behind him, walked none other than Diana, albeit with a bandage upon her head. She was also wearing an apron with the words 'Kiss the Moon' on it.

"Diana!?" Ellie said in amazement as Caelum beamed. "Yep! Once she was unable to find Jason, we bumped into each other again and we began scheming together to best get back at Jason. And then I told her I had you and you were special to him-"  
"I AM NOT."  
"- and she agreed to help me. Who knew she could cook so damn well?" Caelum said as Diana smirked. "Cooking's not the only thing I can do well." Diana said, leaning in close to Caelum's ears and whispering the words as Caelum blinked a couple of times. Setting down the food, he grabbed Diana's hand and said, "Excuse us, enjoy the food. Aatrox, Ellie is a fan of rainbow monkies, kthnxbai." He almost ran out of the room, dragging Diana out with him.

"Rainbow whatsits?" Ellie said, thoroughly confused. She turned back around to see Aatrox leaning forward to stare at her. His sudden proximity scared her as she yelped, almost unbalancing the chair backwards, causing her to cry out. Quick as a flash, Aatrox was next to her, setting her chair back onto the ground.  
"Oh… Thank you." She said, a light blush coming onto her face in embarrassment.  
"You like Rainbow Monkies?" Aatrox asked in a low voice as Ellie blinked. "Uh… Yeah, a bit… Its not something I like to tell ever-"  
"I LOVE RAINBOW MONKIES!" Aatrox almost shouted at her as a huge grin came onto his face. He jumped back, a red glow exploding out of his hands that blinded Ellie for a second. After the light faded, he was revealed to have his huge, imposing sword.  
"AHHH DON'T KILL ME OR PENETRATE ME WITH THAT THING PLEASE!" Ellie shouted, panicking as Aatrox simply stabbed the sword into the ground, stepped back and clapped twice. The sword suddenly started extending and retracting along its length, causing a beat. A second later, it began playing music.  
"Wat." Ellie said as a happy music came from the sword.  
"Rainbow monkies Rainbow monkies; Oh, so very round and super chunky!" Aatrox sang, jumping from one foot to another. "Bringing love where ever they go, Everyone's made of a big rainbow. Oh, red and orange, and pink and blue, Rainbow Monkeys, Rainbow Monkeys,We love you!" He finished on a high note, waving his arms up in the air. Ellie sat there stunned as Aatrox grinned at her. Then she squealed in delight, clapping.

…

When Caelum walked in, he found the room alight with brightly flashing colors and music emanating from Aatrox's sword. Ellie and Aatrox were jumping around the room, singing the 'Rainbow Monkies' theme song. "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON." He said, gaping as Diana looked around the corner, hissed at the bright colorful lights and retreated back.

"WE'RE HAVING A LOT OF FUN!" Ellie squealed as she rode on Aatrox's back. Given her short height and Aatrox's monstrous one, she looked like a child riding piggy back. "COME JOIN US!"  
"No thanks… Anyways, times up. Aatrox, put Ellie down and gee-tee-eff-o." Caelum said as Aatrox's sword stopped and vanished into red mist. Aatrox put Ellie down as they both laughed.

"Thanks, Aatrox. You're really a fun guy!" She said happily as Aatrox leaned down and smiled at her. "You're pretty fun too, Summoner Ellie. Are we still up for that Rainbow Monkey Rainbowpalooza?"  
"You Rainbowiffing bet your butt I'll be there!" She said as Caelum put his hands onto Aatrox's back and pushed him out of the room.

After a lot of effort and a lot of time, he finally came back into the room to see that Summoner Ellie was nowhere to be seen. Then he remembered he had forced her into this. "Oh right. Dammit, I shouldn't have left her alone." He muttered. A small feminine "Ahem." got his attention as he looked to the right and saw Diana standing there, with Ellie tied up in crisscrossing ropes. "That's what I'm here for, right?" Diana said.  
"Good one." Caelum said as both of them grinned evilly, much to Ellie's fear. "Anyway, who's next? Both Alistar and Amumu declined." He said as Diana grinned even wider. "You'll like this one."

…

**Brand**

"HALP HALP I'M ON FIRE HAAAALP." No sooner than a second had passed before Brand had set everything in the room on fire. And since Ellie was tied in the chair, she was helpless as a circle of fire closed in around Ellie, Brand laughing maniacally. She had used a spell to create a barrier around herself, staving the worst of the heat out, but the fire was nearing her inch by inch. Caelum was probably away in the kitchens making dinner, so she was helpless.

"SOMEONE HEEEEEEEELP." She shouted. And then, the door slammed open.

"SURPRISE MUTHERFUCKER!" Jason jumped in, with his trusty fire extinguisher in hand. He threw it at Brand, knocking the fiery fiend out cold with a _**Thunk**_ as it collided with his head. Ellie's joy at this sight suddenly turned sour. "THAT'S NOT HOW YOU USE A FIRE EXTINGUISHER YOU IDIOT!" She shouted as Jason blinked at the fire extinguisher lying next to the out cold Brand, with a whole bunch of flames inbetween them.  
"Whoops." Jason said.  
"DON'T JUST STAND THERE HELP ME." Ellie shouted, but before Jason could say anything, the fire managed to heat up the fire extinguisher, which in turn, exploded, smothering everything in the room with white foam. All the fires died out.  
"Well…. That worked out pretty well." Jason said, pushing away the cardboard replica of himself that had taken all of the foam for him, leaving him untouched by the white foam. Ellie, however, was completely covered in white foam. "MFF mfff ghrmff" Ellie's voice was incoherent under the mass of foam on her face as Jason was just about to take a step into the room, when-  
"JASON, I FOUND YOU!" Diana shouted as she ran at him like a demon on turbo, her sword at her side.  
"SUNUVABITCH." Jason swore, running away from the she-demon at top speed, leaving Ellie alone in the white room. A few seconds later, Caelum walked in, looking at all the foam with surprise and then at Ellie.

"Wow. Brand must've been holding all of that in for ages." He mused as Ellie cried out ineligibly under the foam. "What's that? I can't hear you under all of this 'white stuff'." He snickered at his own joke as Ellie made a helpless 'waaaaah' sound of crying.  
"Ah, quiet down, Ellie, I'll get you cleaned up." He muttered, pulling his sleeves back to reveal the dark tattoo'd runes on the back of his hands. They glowed brightly as he said a few choice words. A second later, it seemed like a bucket of water was dumped onto Ellie's head, clearing the foam but now drenching her.  
She sputtered on the water, her blonde hair a complete mess as she managed to say, "ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME OR SOMETHING."  
"No, that was Brand."

…

**Braum**

"Ahahah, what's this? A wet little wee birdie to be my date, ya?" Braum said in that robust, jolly voice of his as Ellie used her best puppy dog eyes look on him. "Mister Braum, will you please untie me from this chair?" She asked as sweetly as she could as Braum guffawed again. "Very nice, yes yes. But it is just a try against Braum! Summoner Caelum was very specific about not letting the little birdy escape her cage!" He said as Ellie sighed in defeat.

The doors opened as Caelum walked in with the food. "Everything's going well, I presume?" Caelum asked as Braum laughed again. "Little bird is very shy, ya. But nothing ol' Braum can't fix, Hahaha!" He said as Caelum lifted the cover off the tray of food, revealing biscuits.

As he left, a poro suddenly came into view over Braum's shoulder. "Is that… a Poro?" Ellie said in amazement as the mustachioed Poro jumped onto the table, sniffing the platter of biscuits. Braum laughed again as he petted the Poro. "Little one likes the taste of cookies, eh?"

The poro let out a cute little cry and dived into the platter, throwing a lot of biscuits off the plate and onto Ellie, but Ellie was staring at the Poro. "IT'S SO CUTE!" She squealed , reaching out to pet the Poro's fur. "Oh god it's so fluffy, I'm gonna die…" Ellie muttered in amazement as Braum laughed again, the Poro busy with devouring the cookies. And then, the Poro, who had gotten noticeably bigger now, suddenly shook and trembled… And then, it exploded into a multitude of other Poros. "THERE'S MORE OH MY GOOOOD!" She screamed in joy as the poros fell all around her. Then, they all suddenly began sniffing at the air, then looked at Ellie. Ellie paused, wondering why they were staring at her when she realized she had a bunch of cookies all over her.  
"Oh… No. No, I don't have an- NO!" She cried out as all the Poros suddenly jumped onto her, covering her with white fluffiness. She cried for help as they smothered her, feeling their nibbles as they ate the crumbs off of her summoner robes. Some of them were even going under her robe.  
"BRAUM, HALP." She cried out, reaching out a hand through the whiteness, but Braum was too busy laughing loudly.

The door suddenly banged open again as Jason kicked the door open, wearing a fireman's hat and carrying a (yes, you guessed it) fire extinguisher.  
"I'M COMING ELLIE!" He shouted, running into the room. "WAIT NO NO NOOO!" Ellie shouted at Jason, knowing what he was about to do, but he had already flung the extinguisher like a javelin.

_**Thunk**_

By the time Ellie had woken up, She found Caelum waving a green glowing hand over her, healing her headwound.  
"Where were you!?" She cried out indignantly, as Caelum shrugged. "I was in the kitchen with Diana." He said as Ellie frowned. "You guys already gave us the food!" She said as Diana stepped around Caelum so Ellie could see her as well. She smiled and said, "Oh, we weren't cooking, dear."

"Well that's just great… First, I almost get incinerated, then I get bukkake'd by a fire extinguisher, then I get drenched and THEN, I GET GANG-MOLESTED BY PERVERTED POROS." She said angrily, her voice becoming louder near the end into a near scream. Caelum shrugged.  
"Day's only beginning, Ellie." He said as Ellie felt like she was gonna cry. Finally, she sighed and hung her head in defeat.  
"Eff-Em-El."


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys, Welcome to another chapter of League of Dating!  
So I realized I should give you guys some details about my lovable 3 OCs. So, here's some basic info about them.**

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**Caelum Nox Argentum: **A male summoner in the challenger tier, Caelum is a slim 19 year old standing at 6'2". He has long black hair that's choppy and always messy, falling down to his shoulders. His eyes are icy blue. He has a snarky, sarcastic personality along with a pessimistic view of things, but he is protective of his friends. His three favoured picks are Diana, Nocturne and Talon. He specializes in Offensive Magic, specifically in the Dark Arts though he tends to never do illegal things. His strongest summoner spell is Ignite.

**Ellinor Daniels: **A female summoner in the Silver II tier, Ellie is a petite 17 year old girl who looks like a doll at her small height of 5'7". She has long golden hair and emerald colored eyes. She has a childish, bubbly personality which is further emphasized by her inexperience in many topics of conversation which are considered more mature. She always tries to look on the bright side of things and, though she doesn't show it often, is the smartest person in her group of friends. Her favoured picks are Leona, Lux and Lulu. She specializes in Defensive and Supportive spells, specifically in Light Bending. Her strongest summoner spell is Barrier.

**Jason Walkers: **A male summoner in the Gold III tier, Jason is a bright 19 year old standing at 6'0". He has short-mid length pale blonde hair that he likes to spike up, with eyes that constantly change from green to blue and vice-versa, though it always keeps the same inquisitive gleam to it. He has a bright humorous personality, always trying to lighten up things, although he can be serious when the situation needs it. He's also quite curious. His favoured picks are Zed, Akali and Shen. He specializes in Offensive Magic, specifically in the Force Magic department, which includes telekinesis. He is the strongest magic user in his group of friends and his strongest summoner spell is Exhaust.

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**I'll be putting the above written character descriptions on my profile so all of you can see it whenever you like.**

**None of my OCs are based off of anyone real or non-real. They're complete and honest OCs.**

**Without a further ado, lets get on with the story.**

**- Wings**

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**League of Dating**

**Cho Gath**

Ellie shrunk back on her chair as the Terror of the Void stared down at her from across the table. She did not know how Caelum had even gotten permission to take this beast out of containment. However, being the only Challenger Division Summoner in their friend circle must've had its advantages.

Cho'Gath glowered at her as his maw slowly opened, revealing rows upon rows of serrated teeth as Ellie yelped in fear, closing her eyes and thrashing about in her chair, "WAAAAAAH, DON'T EAT ME I'M TOO YOUNG FOR THIS!"  
Cho'Gath recoiled visibly as he blinked at her. Then, opening his beastly mouth, he spoke; "'eavens, girl, why would I wish to eat you for?"

Ellie stopped struggling against her bindings. He had an English Accent. More English than Caitlyn!

"You're British!?" She asked in amazement as Chogath frowned. "British? Gosh, what is that? Sounds like a bad ailment!"

"Your accent!" Ellie shouted, utterly confused by the surprise turn of events as Cho'gath blinked at her. "I don't 'ave an accent." Cho'gath said in his English accent. "If there's anyone 'ere with an accent, it's definitely you my dear." He said as the doors opened.

"We brought tea!" Caelum said happily as he and Diana walked in. Ellie gaped at them. Caelum was wearing a butler's outfit, complete with white gloves and one of those fancy, twin-tailed coats. He actually looked… very attractive.  
Diana, on the other hand, wore a less-bulky and a lot-more-attractive variation of the maid outfit. Ellie was straight, as far as she could tell, but Diana looked attractive even to her.

"Ellie, your date is across the table you know." Caelum said teasingly as they set the trays holding the teacups and teapots onto the table. Ellie flustered and puffed up. "Screw you, Caelum, it's not my fault you come in here dressed up like my anime crush without me expecting it!" She said as Caelum rolled his eyes. "I don't know what you're talking about." He said as he begun to pour her some tea… with the teapot held a ridiculous distance above the teacup. But, he was pouring it perfectly, imitating her anime crush again as Ellie almost whined. "WHY CAN'T YOU PAIR ME UP TO DATE SEBBY INSTEAD." Ellie cried as Cael shrugged. "He's not a real person Ellie. He's just a character in an anime." Caelum said.  
"BUT WE'RE JUST CHARACTERS IN A STORY!" Ellie shouted as Caelum looked at her skeptically. "I don't know whether you're being deep with the whole 'life is one grand story' thing or you're in one of your conspiracies again." He said.

"I'M TELLING YOU, SOMEONE IS WRITING ABOUT ALL OF THIS RIGHT NOW!" Ellie screamed as Caelum sighed. "Your stupid conspiracies. Right. Well, enjoy the tea. Diana, lets go do some… 'cleaning'." Caelum said as Diana, who was conversing with Cho'gath in the meantime, bid him farewell and winked at Ellie. They left as Cho'gath sipped at his cup of tea.

"What's with you british people and tea!?" Ellie said, remembering how Caitlyn also sipped tea. Which reminded her of Caitlyn spitting scalding tea all over Caelum. As Cho'gath began explaining the intricacies of tea, she sighed internally, relieved that Caelum had not remembered that event or he would've gotten back at her.

Suddenly Cho'Gath roared, shaking the entire room and scaring Ellie out of her wits as she cried out in surprise, jumping and causing her to fall backwards, still tied to her chair.

"OWWW I BURNED MY TONGUE!" Cho'gath cried out in pain, uttering another deafening roar. The door suddenly opened as Jason kicked it open. "FEAR NOT, MILADY, I SHALL SAVE THEE FROM THIS MONSTER!" He shouted.  
"WHY CAN'T YOU OPEN THE DOOR LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE!?" Ellie replied as Jason jumped at Cho'gath, brandishing his trusty fire extinguisher. He swung it at Cho'gath's head.

_**Thunk.**_

_**Crack.**_

The extinguisher exploded in Jason's hands and on Cho'gath's face, sending the both of them flying back as foam erupted everywhere. Ellie screamed as the foam flied everywhere, but thankfully, none of them landed on her due to her position on the ground. She sighed in relief, until she saw Cho'gath slowly keel over backwards. His leg hit the table, which raised up and flipped in Ellie's direction, the teapot flying over towards her.

She was frozen for a second or so as the scalding hot tea landed on her.  
Then-  
"FUUUUUUUUUUU-"

…

**Kha'zix**

"I really do not understand the whole point of this." Kha'zix sneered as he glowered at Ellie from across the table. Because of his height, he had foregone the chair and instead crouched on the floor in a position that was comfortable for him, still maintaining a perfect table-height.

"That makes two of us." Ellie said as she looked at him curiously. Out of all the void-beings, Kha'zix scared her the most. Cho'gath was large and powerful, Kog'maw was probably the cutest but unpredictable, Vel'koz was cunning and tactical… But they each had their weaknesses. Cho'gath lacked tactical sense and mobility. Kog'maw lacked common sense. Vel'koz lacked a, as he put it, 'fitting physical body adapted for combat'. Kha'zix, however, had all the strengths and none of the weaknesses. He was probably smarter than all the rest, and his powers were, in a way, limitless.

"So basically… We sit here and converse… to get to know one another better." Kha'zix said skeptically. Ellie nodded. "And they bring us food… That we eat." A nod. "And we talk while eating." A nod. "And normally this is done to find potential mates?" Ellie blushed slightly at his wording but nodded. Kha'zix made a small sound at the back of his throat; it sounded like a scoff.

"Unnecessary and a waste of time." Kha'zix sneered as Ellie nodded. "I know… It's all Caelum's stupid ide-"

"If they really want to find mates, why go through all of this foolery?" Kha'zix said as he stood up, or rather, extended his posture a few inches while still keeping his usual crouched stance. Ellie was slightly confused by what he meant until he swiped the table aside with a flick of his long scythe like claws. Ellie watched it slam into the wall then turned her eyes back onto Kha'zix, fear creeping up her veins as he stared at her with those predatory eyes. She felt helpless while tied to the chair like this.  
"Humans are such fools… Always beating about the bush. Why not just make things simple and simply go for potential mates." Kha'zix said as he stepped closer to Ellie, reaching out for her with one of his glowing scythe-claws.

Ellie panicked as she instantly raised a barrier spell, block Kha'zix' progress as Kha'zix chuckled menacingly.

"Find me scary, do you? Well then… Perhaps I can do something to remedy that." Kha'zix said as he glowed purple all of a sudden.

…

"Dammit, we're late." Caelum said, smoothing his suit with one hand as he held up the tray of food with the other hand. Diana also had messed up post-make-out hair, and was trying to smoothen it. Finally, they reached the doors and opened it.  
"Food's he- What the fuck!?" The trays dropped from Caelum's hands as he watched the scene before him. Ellie was on the floor, lying on her back while still tied to the chair, with a purple haired man ontop of her, kissing her deeply. He was wearing a Dark purple hoodie and pants, with orange fur-trimmings along his elbows and hoodie-edge. Ellie was moaning into the kiss, obviously returning it.

The sound of the tray, plates and food hitting the ground broke them out of their kiss as they both turned to look at Caelum and Diana. "Haven't you people heard of knocking?" The man drawled with annoyance as Ellie, flushed and breathless, looked at them.

"Is that… Kha'zix!?" Diana said, mouth open with surprise as the man stood up, grinning to reveal a fanged mouth. His eyes were glowing green with sharp pupils. "Yes, adapting to a human form isn't very difficult, especially since your bodies are so simple and unevolved." He sneered as Ellie blinked, too flustered to even think straight let alone speak.

"What have you done to Ellie!?" Caelum said as Kha'zix rolled his eyes. "I just took her kiss virginity. Maybe I'll take more soon enough." He said cockily as he snickered. Before Caelum could say anything, they were both shoved aside as Jason burst into the room with a fire extinguisher. Kha'zix suddenly vanished from view with a flash of purple as Jason swung the fire extinguisher at empty air. "Huh!?" Jason said in surprise as Kha'zix reappeared infront of Jason again.

"You gotta wake up 10 hours earlier if you wish to get me with that pitiful excuse of an attack." Kha'zix said non-chalantly as he stared off at a point at the wall, his pinky finger scratching his ear in the basic 'zero-fucks-given' posture. Jason fell to his knees. "My mighty fire-extinguisher… has failed…" He said in dismay, suddenly freezing as he felt a demonic presence behind her, as well as the cracking of knuckles. "She's behind me, isn't she." Jason muttered as Diana grinned demonically down at him, cracking her knuckles.

"You learn quick, not quick enough however." Kha'zix said as he turned his gaze back on Ellie. Caelum, however, grabbed Kha'zix by the collar and dragged him out. "I don't think so, Kha'zix." He said as Kha'zix rolled his eyes. "Pssh, fine." He muttered, walking away while he flexed his wrists, testing it's flexibility out. "This form is quite relaxing to be in… Less energy expended…" He muttered as he walked away.

Turning back around, he saw that Jason had been tied up and sported a few bad bruises on his face. He was knocked out. "Ouch, you didn't go easy on him." Caelum said as Diana huffed. "Damn straight." She said.

"Guys… What just happened?" Ellie muttered, still in a daze. Caelum sighed, pulling her back up into an upright position as she patted her shoulder. "Congratulations on becoming a woman, Ellie." He said, as he brought out a list.  
"Now… The next champion you'll date is Vel'Koz. I'll go ca-"

"NOPE. FUCK THAT. KEEP THAT TENTACLE-HENTAI SHIT AWAY FROM ME, YOU PERVERT. I'M OUT, FUCK THIS SHIT." Ellie shouted, revealing that the bindings had already been cut by Kha'zix. With a bit of effort, she freed herself and rushed out of the room, continuing to shout her "NOPE."'s as she ran.

"Damn, she got away." Caelum muttered as Diana cleared her throat. Turning around, he saw Jason tied up next to Diana, who had a very mischievous look on her face. "We found a new victim anyway." Diana said as Caelum grinned. "Diana, you are an absolute genius." He said.

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**Kha'zix was so fun to write about xD he seems so predatory and serious, but if you use his taunt or jokes, you can see how super-sarcastic and 'don't-give-a-fuck' his personality is. That, and his ability to adapt and evolve seems to be quite limited in the league systems. It'd be super easy for him to take any form he likes, given he has the dna and genes for it, no?**

**Anyways, I don't have anything to say right now, other than; Review~! I always tend to check every 20 minutes to see if there are new reviews. And when there are, I get super excited. Srsly, reviews are what fuels me to write.**

**No word on any update of my other stories. My mind is too much of a mess to sort out right now.**

**Stay Tentacle-free, readers! You know what they say, it's all fun and games until you get all of your orifices penetrated.  
Shit I might just be pushing the limit of the T rating with all of this xD**

**kthnxbai.**

**- Wings**


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